1. |
sharps (intro)
01:33
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time will save me
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2. |
allamericanfuckdoll
02:57
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sometimes i see how tightly i can squeeze into the corner and watch the walls recede
sometimes i wonder, as i pantograph expression and watch those walls cave in on me
lace me up, hold me down, move my body
we'll have a party at the bottom of the deep end, baby
all american, like apple hot dog pies and immolation
feels like i'm drowning again
mary ain't shit
my sex is immaculate
long legs short skirt
we out here perfecting it
this time i'm infinite
like the time my soul fell off
and i swore i felt a panic attack shine into a meltdown
and i was still hot and you wanted to but i was all strung out
just dissociation, my old friend
and i can breath, want to be seen
like a fuckdoll wannabe
on my own terms
don't touch my body
fell from the tightrope around my chest
now everything's a little bit chaos
and i feel fine
feels like i'm drowning again
mary ain't shit
my sex is immaculate
long legs short skirt
we out here perfecting it
this time i'm infinite
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3. |
home
04:01
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home
it's where i choose to go to lay my head down darling
home
why can't we just go home it's been the longest week now
and i
was standing by and you were looking vaguely threatening
you
were trying to decide i was entropy
town
it's where we like to live until they throw us out
back home
it's where i lay my head as long as you're around me
so drive
counting all the miles and the rest stop heroes
light
fading into suicidal psalms and shadows
and i'll wait
for the day
we're laughing in the pouring rain
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4. |
noiseyii
00:41
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5. |
fuckmeinterlude
01:57
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feels like i'm drowning again
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6. |
belly
03:19
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water rolling up my belly like the tide
sometimes i swear i can't go on so i fade away
all the while to placate
the ways i cease to feel when i'm around
when i'm around
spent 40 hours and 40 days by 42nd street
took all the powders i could muster
still damn near killed me
all the while placate
the ways i ease to feel when i'm not well
is this well
and i don't wanna talk about it
and i can't help but talk around it
and i don't wanna talk about it
all my generation knows is vape juul and die
internal pressure is rising now
and then it starts to spill over off the shelf
it held together with ligaments and chewing gum
found under back seats and bridges where we knelt
down beside you for medicine
and in my innocence i traded peace for rest
i gave it myself for nothing at all
y'all held your tongues in my silence where you wept
water rolling up my belly like the tide
sometimes i swear i can't go on so i fade away
all the while to placate
the ways i ease to feel when i'm not well
it's just as well
and i don't wanna talk about it
and i can't help but talk around it
and i don't wanna talk about it
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7. |
plsdntmakeitup
03:52
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8. |
writheupnext2me
02:25
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and i want to hold u
and scream my heart out
for twenty four straight days
lovers grown like
thorns on roses
writhing in their way
so carry on my wayward friend
i hope there is something left for us to mend
won't u writhe up next 2 me
and i want to sing u
all my verses
so bitter and so sweet
of waning tides
and plastic flowers
and holding on for weeks
so say goodbye and don't look down
i think the time has come for us to leave
won't u writhe up next 2 me
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9. |
untitledzip
01:03
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10. |
casioloop
03:38
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we’re inside each other
the shared intimacy of space
consent to breath my air?
v1ral machinations, machiavellian
ruminating, carelessly caressing
throbbing, i say is this dying?
over stimmed, under fucked
tripping over another day
another line, another word
another world, another verse
i can’t shake off this feeling
i can’t shake off this feeling
i can't shake off this feeling that i'm for real
that i’m for real
sensations, dripping off my skin
sensationalism,
high fructose colonial constructs
erosions of eros, pointing arrows
but who’s blame?
since absolution isn’t real
and absolute power corrupts absolutely
and objectivity is a farce
so who to trust but lived subjections
and so again, chaotically here go i
yt tantrikas upholding hatred
through eyes of love with no abstraction
of harm committed and gates held closed
disbelief chosen, scoff at fences
but when kids play with kitchen knives
no one questions they must be removed
yet in the name of freedom, those in power
cry oppression and devour what it takes to stay alive
overestimations of our own importance
while we underestimate our impact
tirelessly pining for intentions to count
when no one’s throwing horseshoes
and hand grenades have been relegated
for children both big and small to throw around like toys in far off lands
while landmines and hate crimes keep going off in our own back yard
but can’t be bothered to cover our mouths in this universal space
where we’re inside each other
inseparable in our penetration,
with or without consent, just circumstantial
prevalence to center the “i” when once again it’s demonstrated
that only as a collective, will we thrive
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11. |
simmer
04:10
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this journey's finally over
and look how i have grown
into what? into me
but after/all the anger
will i miss it finally
miss what? miss out
i'll live it now, i'm almost out
of that hell that 4 years i've sang about
so let's just have our fun for now
did you know that we own this fucking town
i wanna watch them try to shut us down
doncha know that their game is so played out
suffer for your sexuality
your race and creed
emotions show the best in you
but they always get the best of me
seen disconnection and
everything looks as one
and it's so beautiful
so let's just have our fun for now
did you know that we own this fucking town
i wanna watch them try to shut us down
doncha know that their game is so played out
and i like to hate watching tv
like to hate everything
but all i want is love
and i'm a rebel without a cause
but i don't wanna fight no more
but i don't know how to live without the anger
so let's just have our fun for now
did you know that we own this fucking town
i wanna watch them try to shut us down
doncha know that their game is so played out
i know they do not understand
i could never get myself to play again
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12. |
2 || saturnreturn || 7
03:13
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i've strayed so far out of touch
i can barely stand the air i breath
feel likened to a piece of wood
convulsing down a shallow raging stream
now out of the corner of my eye
see shadows dance around my room
i hope they're leaving soon
these demons i can't feel to face
these shadows i just can't erase
dance around my head every day
i've stood right there before
staring in sharp eyes
delicate, deviant
watching as we writhe
now out of the corner of mine
see shadows dance around my room
i hope they speak the truth
of demons i haven't felt to face
of shadows i just can't erase
dance around my head every day
sometimes we wish better days would come
only once it's lost do we see we had it all along
sometimes it hurts to turn around
but we'll make it through
it's killing me
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13. |
epilogue (śavāsana)
01:20
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i'll always be a winter branch
to u my wayward starling
waiting with coffee and cigarettes
hoping they don't come for us again
on me u can always call
even when the sky is falling
for i know that hell, affliction shared
and wish to all that this were just a dream
when days no longer bask in rue
cycles shift to light and lifting
all will settle, like the earth
beneath our feet in tacit overture
so flow and flow and flow
and know ur held through pain unyielding
i'll always be ur tree in winter
shelter until dreams of flight return
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